CoNfLiCt

I think there are people that can be calm in the face of adversity and then there are those that lose control. I'm not sure which one of these I am. I think probably somewhere in the middle. When conflicts arise, which is bound to happen eventually whether we like it or not, I think it is how we DEAL with the aftermath rather than the actual content of the conflict, that makes a persons true character and colors shine through. In the eye of the storm, who will you decide to be?

 Some people get completely spun out of control and attempt to gain some of this control back by berating others, telling lies, poking fun at, and simply acting out in some way, shape, or form. I can't say at some point in time in my very own life have I not succumb to some of these very things. But I would like to think that as i get older, I learn and move ahead from my mistakes. For me, this is what life is about. I like to think that these things are behind me, in the past. I like to think for the most part I handle my conflicts with grace and dignity. Coming out with my head held high. 

I know that sometimes this may be hard to do. I have caught myself thinking of bad things to call the other person. Things that this person may have told me in confidence, now wanting to spread the news to the world. But holding my tongue (for the most part) instead. Knowing that lashing out comes with a price, and that fighting FIRE with FIRE only spreads more FIRE. 

These cliches are so trite. But they seem to really do the trick. Whoever made up these sayings must have lived a very long life. 

Conflict is something that many people are involved with daily. Some people even welcome this sort of life. A dramatic life perhaps. People creating drama to surround their lives. It makes them feel important, maybe like they matter in the world. Because if there were no drama to create chaos where would they be? Where would their specific place be in this gigantic world? So, some people choose to live a life filled with turmoil and chaos. Who am I to judge. 

I, on the other hand, prefer a more balanced and centered life. One free of chaos and drama, as much as possible. That is the kind of person I have worked so hard to become, and am still striving to be every single day. 

 I am no one to tell anyone how to handle their affairs, conflicts or personal matters. I am just someone learning and growing like everyone else, trying to handle themselves with respect and tolerance for others. 

But now, I am a mom. I have someone who looks up to me. Blackalicious said it best, "The only way to be a leader, lead by the way you live." I have never heard any words more profound in my life I think. I have to show Lulu that when you are in the face of adversity you must stand strong and not falter. You must go on and move ahead with your life as positively as your soul will allow. You need to make room in your heart and head for the light and not the dark. That conflict does not have to be something that sets you back, but something to learn from. Take something wonderful out of a seemingly terrible situation. The show must go on. 

Some people go on the only way they know how. The only way they were taught. To fight. To be sad. To let the drama and the chaos and the conflict consume their life. 

But not I. I will march on. I will break-dance and sing off key like it's nobody's business.