Today

Today i have bigger fish to fry. 

I have a 14 month old daughter who needs me to be up, composed, and ready for anything. 

I don't have time for the little things, as they say. 

Although I barely slept a wink last night...due to major uproar in the house the past week or so, I get out of bed dutifully at 7:00 am. Like the day before, and the day before that, and the day before that. 

Lulu eats her oatmeal, the entire bowl as usual. I try to sneak in a bite here or there, to say to my husband at least I ate SOMETHING. 

We go on our morning run. Which has become ritual, as everything else. Lulu begs to get in her stroller. That is her way of saying she is ready to go. She is ready to RUN! Oh yeah, like those fat legs do any running anywhere. We go on said run. Today Dad joins us because of how stressed everyone is. The exercise and outdoors makes us feel better. For awhile. Then the feelings come back.

Today I am feeling violated.

I feel violated sometimes by things that other people do. For instance, the nonsense that is going on right now in my household. Something other people have done to me and my husband, yet for some reason I feel accountable. I feel the need to explain. 

Other people should not have the right to get into your head and manipulate your thoughts. But they do.  

I have gone over and over and over said uproar over a hundred times in my head. I have decided it is time to let it go. It is beyond me and my control. Things that we hold onto destroy our creativity, our peace of mind, and our positive outlook. Today in my head, I move on from the chaos and the drama. I have to be strong for the family. My daughter and my husband both need me now more than ever. If I let them down, what kind of person would that make me? 

I realize that some things are beyond our control. We can only control our reaction to things, and how we move ahead from them.

Today, I have bigger fish to fry.